Tango Counselling Lab
Discover Tango Counselling with Claudia Silletti, where Tango Argentino, body awareness, connection, and Gestalt practice support personal growth
Claudia Silletti
6/1/20269 min read
Tango is the only dance that elevates the simple gesture of an embrace into an art form.
It is a dance of complementary roles, grounded in mutual listening, where movement emerges from an inner, central impulse connected to the body's center of gravity and the heart center.
Participants learn to improvise by immersing themselves in the music and in themselves. Each class begins with proprioceptive practices that cultivate awareness of breathing, posture, and any muscular tension.
It is a process of listening to oneself before entering into relationship with another—to walk and dance together.
The following is a brief excerpt from my final thesis (2019) at the ArtinCounselling School of Gestalt Counselling through Artistic Mediation.
Tango as a "Medium" for an Inner Journey
"Tango is not an acrobatic or choreographed dance form, but rather an energetic, ceremonial, and ritual encounter between two people—one that is danced with the heart. The heart as an energetic center, not as a poetic metaphor. Tango is danced by seeking the strength of the heart."
— Silvia Wladimivski
Elements to Explore
Awareness and perception of one's own body and oneself in relation to another
Breathing
Grounding and posture
Body weight and balance
The embrace
Coordination and awareness of physical tension or blockages
The feminine and the masculine: a dance of complementary roles
Building boundaries that are stable yet permeable
1. Awareness and Perception
In our daily lives, we often move automatically. Borrowing the words of Alexander Lowen, the founder of Bioenergetics, "we have lost our grace" ("when the upper half dominates the personality, we lose our natural grace").
When we turn our attention inward, we begin to notice the many small tensions and muscular contractions that have become deeply ingrained over time. The journey toward developing body awareness increases our sensitivity to both internal and external stimuli while refining our proprioception—the ability to sense and understand the position and movement of our bodies.
Health is not merely the absence of pain; it is the presence of a fundamental sense of physical well-being and pleasure.
Our ability to feel what another person is experiencing—the foundation of empathy—rests on our body's capacity to resonate with other living bodies. When this resonance is absent, it often means we are no longer in resonance with ourselves.
2. Breathing
To breathe deeply is to feel deeply. When we breathe deeply into the abdominal cavity, that part of the body comes alive. When our breathing remains shallow, we suppress our emotions.
From childhood, we learn to hold in our stomachs as a way of containing and isolating feelings of pain.
3. Grounding and Posture
To be grounded means having a stable foundation. It means becoming aware of the body's weight, its central axis, and how these elements are managed in space.
In the history of Tango, grounding reflects one of the immigrant's most fundamental needs: the search for stability. By establishing contact with our foundations—physically, our feet, our first point of support—we can build and sustain the body as a structure, cultivating balance and posture until, through meeting another person in the embrace, we discover a shared sense of balance and stability.
Because the body's weight is released into the ground, it is essential to stand firmly on the feet with the toes relaxed and spread, allowing the whole body to lean slightly forward. Despite this subtle forward inclination, each dancer remains centered on their own axis.
4. Body Weight and Balance
The first movement in Tango is the transfer of weight from one leg to the other—or more precisely, from the right side of the body to the left, around an imaginary central axis.
When we begin to dance, it is this shifting of weight—at first visible, then gradually becoming more internal and subtle—that creates synchronization between the two bodies while standing in place.
Weight changes also allow us to "test" both our individual balance and the balance of the couple. These movements, as well as the impulse that initiates the first step, are led by the person assuming the leading role.
Balance comes partly from the ability to release one's weight deeply into the floor and partly from the stability of one's axis.
In a good dance, just as in a healthy relationship, people come together to share while remaining rooted in their own personal axis—or center—from which they move and to which they can always return.
5. The Embrace
One of the defining characteristics of Tango is the presence of deep physical contact with another person: the embrace.
It is interesting to note that, from an etymological perspective, the word embrace in both Italian and Spanish literally suggests the "absence of arms." In reality, although our arms physically surround another person's body, a loving or fraternal embrace does not possess or restrain—it envelops.
The same is true in Tango. The person who leads does not manipulate their partner through the arms or hands, but rather through a deeper, more central impulse that originates from the body's center of gravity and the heart center.
Research into the positive effects of embracing has even suggested a minimum of four hugs per day to support psychological and physical well-being.
6. Coordination and Becoming Aware of Physical Tension and Blockages
The body and our emotions are two dimensions that move hand in hand: when one speaks, the other responds. Numerous studies have confirmed the close relationship between negative emotions and physical pain. In fact, research has shown that similar areas of the brain are activated whether we experience physical pain or emotional pain.
For example, when we are unable to process anger or work-related stress, it may manifest as tension or tightness in the jaw. These are repressed emotions that remain trapped within the body, waiting to be released. Unable to express themselves directly, they seek another outlet through physical tension or discomfort.
Through warm-up exercises designed to prepare us for meeting another person, we cultivate an attitude of openness, attention, and deep listening toward the body and its signals, learning to understand the meaning behind what it communicates.
7. The Feminine and the Masculine: A Dance of Complementary Roles
The opportunity to experience the different aspects of ourselves—the active, determined, solar masculine and the receptive, sensitive, lunar feminine—allows us to deepen our self-awareness through an experiential exploration of both masculine and feminine qualities.
Throughout this journey, the concept of seduction is expanded beyond its conventional meaning. Returning to its original etymology—"to lead toward oneself"—it becomes a way of relating not only to other people but also to the world around us, both through active, confident engagement and through quiet receptivity.
As we practice, we become increasingly aware of how we carry ourselves—how we inhabit our bodies—in both seduction and relationship; how we approach others either actively (the masculine) or receptively (the feminine).
The leader is said to carry the other person through the dance. This role involves welcoming the partner without constraining them, offering presence and stability without force or pressure. At the same time, the leader assumes responsibility for guiding the couple through a shared space where others are also moving and interacting, indicating the direction while protecting the person held within the embrace.
To be guided—or carried—requires the capacity to trust. In this sense, it is a gift of oneself: surrendering without becoming dependent, opening oneself without reservation.
The follower enters a receptive state—one of sensory, perceptual, and kinesthetic listening. It is an active form of listening in which each response reflects a unique psycho-emotional state, moving in harmony with the music, the essential thread that weaves together and gives color to the relationship between the partners.
Through this dialogue of bodies, and through the relationship that unfolds during a tanda—a sequence of three or four dances shared with the same partner—we also come into contact with another essential aspect of human experience: trust and its counterpart, responsibility.
Leading (responsibility) and following (trust)—how we guide another and how we entrust ourselves to someone else—become metaphors for the ways we relate to others in everyday life.
8. Building Boundaries That Are Stable Yet Permeable
To enter into genuine contact and empathy with another person without losing oneself; to feel what another feels without becoming confused by it, while remaining connected to one's own feelings and one's own center.
Effects and Benefits for Health
"When our spirit fully enters into any act, that act takes on a spiritual character because the Self is transcended."
— Alexander Lowen
It is important to note that this paper focuses on social tango, also known as salon tango, rather than tango escenario (stage or fantasy tango). Social tango does not require exceptional athletic ability or specialized training, making it accessible to people of all ages.
When two dancers—often complete strangers—meet each other's gaze, embrace, and begin to dance, they recreate ancient relational dynamics rooted in the earliest bond between the fetus and the mother's womb. Tango has the ability to return us to this original place of connection: a state in which one person can feel held within another while remaining fully themselves.
When two bodies are truly connected, they can genuinely experience the sensation of breathing, moving, and dancing in unison—becoming part of the same vibration, sharing a common rhythm, and giving rise to a heightened state of consciousness. This state emerges through the cultivation of subtle qualities such as deep listening, openness, and the gradual release of the protective barriers and masks we often carry.
The central themes expressed in tango lyrics, together with the emotional power of the orchestras, evoke profound and universal human experiences: loss, nostalgia, abandonment, love, and death. Sooner or later, these experiences touch every person's life, awakening emotions and memories that, through tango, are given the freedom to emerge, be expressed, and flow.
Likewise, through the synchronization of bodies in a state of focused presence, dancers may gradually experience what the poet John Keats described as "negative capability"—a receptive state that creates space for creativity and authentic communication to unfold.
Tango as a Practice of Presence
In this quality of presence, the journey of self-discovery through dance can be understood as a form of mindfulness. It is the cultivation of a way of perceiving that is not filtered through constant mental activity, but instead allows for an intuitive, profound, and non-conceptual understanding of what is happening in the very moment it occurs.
This quality of awareness becomes possible when the mind's continuous internal dialogue begins to quiet, creating the space for a silent form of consciousness to emerge—a presence that exists beyond words, concepts, thoughts, or interpretation. It is simply mindful awareness: conscious attention to what is unfolding in the present moment.
This, in turn, opens the possibility of disidentifying from the contents of the mind—an experience with profound therapeutic potential.
Embraces and the Endocrine System: The Role of Oxytocin
Expressing emotions and offering social support through embracing has, as one of its primary effects, the stimulation of the endocrine system, resulting in the release of chemical messengers.
These chemical messengers are a diverse group of substances that transmit signals from one part of an organ—or from one part of the body—to another.
The human body communicates through three interconnected systems: the nervous system, the endocrine system, and the immune system. Each relies on its own chemical messengers: nerve cells communicate through neurotransmitters, endocrine glands release hormones, and the immune system communicates through cytokines. Among these hormones is oxytocin, produced by the hypothalamus and released by the pituitary gland.
Once released into the bloodstream, oxytocin acts on the mammary glands and the uterus while also functioning as a neurotransmitter in the brain in both women and men.
After being produced in the hypothalamus, oxytocin reaches not only the pituitary gland but also brain regions such as the amygdala and hippocampus, which play essential roles in memory and emotional processing. Several studies have shown that hugging stimulates a significant release of oxytocin (Light et al., 2005).
By acting on various regions of the brain—particularly within the limbic system—oxytocin helps reduce stress and social anxiety. It also improves emotional recognition and social memory, promotes empathy, sincerity, and fidelity, and strengthens emotional bonds, attachment, and social affiliation. These characteristics are deeply interconnected, reinforcing one another in a positive cycle.
The release of oxytocin triggered by an embrace therefore has beneficial effects on health and well-being at the physical, psychological, emotional, and social levels.
In addition to these effects, oxytocin interacts with other chemical messengers—often referred to as the "molecules of happiness"—each of which plays a unique role:
Dopamine: involved in voluntary movement, cognition, executive functions, reward, pleasure, and motivation.
Serotonin: regulates mood, memory, sleep, and cognitive function.
Endorphins: reduce panic, anxiety, and tension, regulate appetite and the release of sex hormones, and facilitate muscle contractions.
Hugs at a Glance
Functions
The expression and communication of emotions, and the provision of social support
Effects
Endocrine System
Increased release of oxytocin
Psychological, Emotional, and Social Well-being
Reduced stress
Reduced conflict
Stronger emotional bonds and attachment
Improved memory
Greater empathy, sincerity, and trust
Cardiovascular System
Lower risk of cardiovascular disease
Immune System
Reduced risk of developing infectious diseases
What Effect Does Bodywork Have on People?
Bodywork expert Licia Sky answers this question as follows:
"It is to touch what water is to thirst; one can thirst for touch. There is something deeply comforting about being touched in a way that is confident, profound, steady, gentle, and sensitive.
Conscious touch and mindful movement help people become grounded, allowing them to discover tensions they may have carried for so long that they are no longer aware of them.
When we are touched, the part of the body that receives the touch awakens. The body physically contracts when emotions are compressed. The shoulders tighten, the facial muscles become rigid. We expend enormous amounts of energy holding back tears—or any sound or movement that might reveal our inner emotional state.
When physical tension is released, emotions are finally able to express themselves. Movement deepens the breath, and as tension dissolves, expressive sounds can also emerge naturally. The body becomes freer, and the breath is once again able to flow."
In an increasingly virtual and mediated world, the aim of this work is to highlight the importance of physical touch for the healthy development of children and adolescents, as well as for restoring essential relational capacities in adults.
The workshop presented here is my practical proposal for fostering the integration and harmonious development of the human being.
Prepared by Claudia Silletti
Modern dancer, certified Argentine Tango instructor, and Gestalt Counsellor specializing in artistic mediation. She holds a degree in Behavioral Sciences and Social Relations (Psychology) from the University of Bologna.
She trained in Italy, France, and Argentina, where in 2016 she participated in the Festival Mundial de Tango with Jorge Olguín.
She has led workshops and seminars not only throughout Italy but also in Malta, Brussels, Saint Petersburg, and on the Greek island of Lesbos.
She collaborates on and directs a wide range of events, workshops, and performances.